2. If you are cooking a special dinner for a man, be sure to include something from each of
    the four major male food groups: Meat, Fried, Beer, and Red.
3. Don't make him hold your purse in the mall.

4. Despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary in many of the fine bars and
    fraternities throughout the country, not all men are cretins deserving your contempt.

5. Shopping is not fascinating.

6. If you REALLY want a nice guy, stop dating good-looking assholes.

7. The man is ALWAYS in charge of poking the campfire with a stick and/or tending the grill.

8. Trying to provoke a large, dangerous-looking felon from across the room is not funny.

9. Money does not equate love. Not even in Nevada.

10. Any attempt by a man to prepare food, no matter how feeble (ie Microwaving a burrito,
     fixing Spaghetti, etc) should be met with roughly the same degree of praise a parent
     might shower upon their infant when it walks for the first time.

11. Those male models with perfect bodies are all gay. Accept it.

12. He heard you the first time.

13. You know, YOU can ask HIM out too... Let's spread the rejection around a little.

14. If you truly want honesty, don't ask questions you don't really want the answer to.

15. Dogs good. Cats bad.

16. Any sort of injury involving the testicles is not funny.

17. If he has to sit through "Legends of the Fall", you have to sit through "Showgirls".

18. "Fine." is not an acceptible way to end an argument.

19. Do not question a man's innate navigational abilities by suggesting he stop for directions.

20. He was not looking at that other girl.

21. Well, okay... maybe a little.

22. Okay, so what! He was looking at her. Big deal. Like you never looked at another guy...

23. There is nothing inherently wrong with the question "That time of the month?".

24. He is the funniest, strongest, best-looking, most successful man you have ever met.

25. And all your friends think so too. Especially the cute ones.

26. Your (select appropriate item:) butt/boobs/hair/makeup/legs look fine. As a matter of
      fact, it/they look damn good. Stop asking.

27. It is not necessary to discuss the heaviness of your menstrual flow with him.

28. Two words: blow job. Learn it. Live it. Love it.

29. Dirty laundry comes in several categories: Looks fine/smells fine, Looks fine/smells bad,
      Looks dirty/smells fine. Unless you intend to wash it, do not try to disrupt piles organized in
      this manner.
30. Yes, Sharon Stone/Pamela Anderson/Cindy Crawford is prettier than you. Just like Brad
      Pitt/Antonio Banderas/Keanu Reeves is better looking than him. But since neither one of
      you is going to be dating any of these people, love the one you're with.

30. Of course size matters, and boy does he have the grandaddy of them all.

31. His (fill in appropriate selections:) bald spot/beer gut/impossibly thick
      glasses/impotency/scabby rash, is cute.

32. Don't hog the covers.

33. Watching basketball is a major turn-on for you. But please wait until the halftime show to
      act upon that...

34. He does not just want to be friends.